10:05 am
I have dance class today, but I'm not sure what time. I'll call K and find out for sure. They might have changed the times when I missed class last week. I really hate missing class. Dance is one of my favorite things to do, and it is what I look forward to all week.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
4/2/2010
9:10 am
Pat is home from work today. We are meeting K and going to the gym. Sammy is off school today, so we are taking him with. I'm just glad the gym has daycare! I did Zumba yesterday. It is always a blast. I'm going to start doing it regularly. Almost time to go!
Pat is home from work today. We are meeting K and going to the gym. Sammy is off school today, so we are taking him with. I'm just glad the gym has daycare! I did Zumba yesterday. It is always a blast. I'm going to start doing it regularly. Almost time to go!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
4/1/2010
4:45pm
K and I went to get our nails done today! It was a blast! We had plans to go to the gym, but we decided to do some shopping instead. :) I had planned on doing Zumba tonight anyway, and she was going to the gym this evening, so it isn't too bad. We are definitely going tomorrow, though... We always have so much fun together. We are in the same soul family, so we don't have to "try" when we're together. We just fit. I love that I can say that I am lucky enough to have a friend like that.
K and I went to get our nails done today! It was a blast! We had plans to go to the gym, but we decided to do some shopping instead. :) I had planned on doing Zumba tonight anyway, and she was going to the gym this evening, so it isn't too bad. We are definitely going tomorrow, though... We always have so much fun together. We are in the same soul family, so we don't have to "try" when we're together. We just fit. I love that I can say that I am lucky enough to have a friend like that.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
3/31/2010
9:00am
My ultimate friend came over last night and we watched The Unborn. It was really good. She dyed my hair burgundy, which is always a favorite of mine. Looks like Shayla has Conjunctivitis now. Really not good. And putting drops in her eyes turns into a big fight. I know they burn, but that can't be helped. I just realized that while K was over last night, we didn't accomplish anything that we had planned to. Well, we have manicures planned for Thursday, so we can talk about it then. I can't wait for us to really start work on our story. I say story because we don't know how long it is going to be. Ideally, I would like it to be a novel, and maybe a series. It will be interesting to say the least.
My ultimate friend came over last night and we watched The Unborn. It was really good. She dyed my hair burgundy, which is always a favorite of mine. Looks like Shayla has Conjunctivitis now. Really not good. And putting drops in her eyes turns into a big fight. I know they burn, but that can't be helped. I just realized that while K was over last night, we didn't accomplish anything that we had planned to. Well, we have manicures planned for Thursday, so we can talk about it then. I can't wait for us to really start work on our story. I say story because we don't know how long it is going to be. Ideally, I would like it to be a novel, and maybe a series. It will be interesting to say the least.
I really should go to the gym today. I haven't been in over 2 weeks. I hate not being able to go. I couldn't go the last 2 weeks because of these stupid migraines. I think (knock on wood) I'm finally through them. I don't know what is causing them, but I really don't want to go to the doctor. If they come back, I'll go.
I'm really enjoying this daily blog thing. I think its good for me to write things down daily. I consider it kind of like my online diary. I know a diary is supposed to be kept private, but I really don't care. If this is what it takes to get me writing again, I'll do it. I miss writing poetry. I can already feel it coming back to me. I don't think it will be much longer before I can delve back into it.
9:50pm
Well, Pat is playing Modern Warfare 2 and I'm playing on the computer. I guess I should go get in the shower and start some laundry. I get to go tomorrow and have a girl's day with my ultimate friend! It is gonna be so fun! We have never done anything like this together (we've never been the "girly-girl" types), so this will be a real experience for us! Hopefully, after the pampering, we can go to the gym together and maybe have some lunch or something... It should be a great day... :)
9:50pm
Well, Pat is playing Modern Warfare 2 and I'm playing on the computer. I guess I should go get in the shower and start some laundry. I get to go tomorrow and have a girl's day with my ultimate friend! It is gonna be so fun! We have never done anything like this together (we've never been the "girly-girl" types), so this will be a real experience for us! Hopefully, after the pampering, we can go to the gym together and maybe have some lunch or something... It should be a great day... :)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
3/30/2010
It looks like I might actually get some stuff done today! Wee! I (for once) don't have a migraine and all the kids are in school. I really need to pay the bills and get some cleaning done today, after I go to town and get a few groceries and a new watch for Pat. He's been wearing mine to work (which looks ridiculous) and he is gonna break it if I don't get him one soon.
Monday, March 29, 2010
3/29/2010
Well, I am beginning my blog by posting all of my previous work from the last year or two. I know it's not much, but I've not had much time to write. I'm hoping now I will be able to focus a little more on my creativity since all 3 of my kids are in school. Also, I think it will be good for me to keep an online journal, just so I have somewhere to write my feelings down.
In My Arms
In my arms
As I hold you
I hear you.
You try
Not to let me know,
But I always know.
You pull away.
The single tear,
So precious,
So rare,
Glistens on your cheek.
I match your tear with mine.
I wish
I could hurt for you,
Take it all away.
But all I can do
Is save a place for you,
In my arms.
I love you KAB.
As I hold you
I hear you.
You try
Not to let me know,
But I always know.
You pull away.
The single tear,
So precious,
So rare,
Glistens on your cheek.
I match your tear with mine.
I wish
I could hurt for you,
Take it all away.
But all I can do
Is save a place for you,
In my arms.
I love you KAB.
My Secret Obsession
I feel the mountain beneath my feet - powerful and majestic. The darkness. It swaddles me, caresses me. Touching every part of me. It clears my mind and sharpens my senses. I hear the dew falling from the leaves and tip-tipping on the wet grass. I hear a rustling in the leaves. I turn towards the noise. I smell something - sweet, but stale. I know this smell. It is the smell of death.
Death. Ever-present, ever-reaching, waiting in every shadow for its next victim. But this death is no ordinary death. This death is much more sinister. Doomed forever to watch as everything he knows and loves dies around him. He - in his beautiful immortality - a blessing and a curse. I see the faint silver shine of his eyes in the darkness. It takes my breath.
He wants me to know he’s there. I can hear my heartbeat quicken with the realization of my fate. Die or live. Both so permanent. Both so enticing and yet so foreboding. My decision must be made quick. I know the stakes. This will be my last night. My blood races through my veins. I know he craves it. Quickly - my choice. But so much to be considered. My family. My life as I know it. Am I ready to leave it so soon? Fond memories fading into faint glimmers of what seemed so dear to me? Glimpses of what could or would have been?
Die or live - quickly. He takes a step forward - slow and deliberate. His shape begins to take form. He is tall and strong. His skin, white and luminescent in the moonlight. His face is solemn. Then a smile. He knows I have made my decision. I reach for him, waiting. My arms extended in an empty embrace. In a movement too quick for my eyes to perceive, he accepts my embrace. He feels like a marble statue in my arms. It is a welcome feeling. I can hear my breathing coming in quick, raspy gasps. The smell - so sweet - is like a drug. I cannot think. I cannot move. His mouth moves to mine and he gently brushes his lips with mine. I shudder at his cold touch. His lips move away from mine, across my cheek. My skin burns from the sensation. My hot to his cold. His mouth wanders with a purpose. He traces my jaw line with his lips parted. His breath is like a winter breeze. He pulls me closer to him as he finds my neck with his mouth. A sigh escapes me. He lingers there, caressing my neck with his lips. I shiver with desire and terror. His teeth sink into my flesh and at once I feel the need to defend myself in some way. To stop him. But I am helpless against his spell. I feel the blood - the life - draining from my veins. He lowers me to the damp earth as my breathing shallows. He detaches from me and his eyes burn into my soul. He offers his wrist to me and I hesitate. I feel the darkness pulling me into it. Die or live. I take his wrist and begin to drink. I feel the life returning to me. I feel strong, awake, revived. I can hear and see everything so clearly. And then the pain is so intense, I don’t think I can stand it.
But with one convulsion - it was over. My cheeks are wet with tears. My heart pounds in my ears and my skin is flushed. My husband stirs beside me in the bed. He reaches for me, but I pull away. I am not ready for reality yet. As I lie there with the early morning sun making patterns on my skin, my heart sinks. Once again, I am left with the longing. A burning desire that cannot be snuffed. I hear the house begin to awaken. My children creep out of their beds. I know I must put on the daily facade; the guise of normalcy. I must lock away my secret obsession and give the key to my dreams.
Death. Ever-present, ever-reaching, waiting in every shadow for its next victim. But this death is no ordinary death. This death is much more sinister. Doomed forever to watch as everything he knows and loves dies around him. He - in his beautiful immortality - a blessing and a curse. I see the faint silver shine of his eyes in the darkness. It takes my breath.
He wants me to know he’s there. I can hear my heartbeat quicken with the realization of my fate. Die or live. Both so permanent. Both so enticing and yet so foreboding. My decision must be made quick. I know the stakes. This will be my last night. My blood races through my veins. I know he craves it. Quickly - my choice. But so much to be considered. My family. My life as I know it. Am I ready to leave it so soon? Fond memories fading into faint glimmers of what seemed so dear to me? Glimpses of what could or would have been?
Die or live - quickly. He takes a step forward - slow and deliberate. His shape begins to take form. He is tall and strong. His skin, white and luminescent in the moonlight. His face is solemn. Then a smile. He knows I have made my decision. I reach for him, waiting. My arms extended in an empty embrace. In a movement too quick for my eyes to perceive, he accepts my embrace. He feels like a marble statue in my arms. It is a welcome feeling. I can hear my breathing coming in quick, raspy gasps. The smell - so sweet - is like a drug. I cannot think. I cannot move. His mouth moves to mine and he gently brushes his lips with mine. I shudder at his cold touch. His lips move away from mine, across my cheek. My skin burns from the sensation. My hot to his cold. His mouth wanders with a purpose. He traces my jaw line with his lips parted. His breath is like a winter breeze. He pulls me closer to him as he finds my neck with his mouth. A sigh escapes me. He lingers there, caressing my neck with his lips. I shiver with desire and terror. His teeth sink into my flesh and at once I feel the need to defend myself in some way. To stop him. But I am helpless against his spell. I feel the blood - the life - draining from my veins. He lowers me to the damp earth as my breathing shallows. He detaches from me and his eyes burn into my soul. He offers his wrist to me and I hesitate. I feel the darkness pulling me into it. Die or live. I take his wrist and begin to drink. I feel the life returning to me. I feel strong, awake, revived. I can hear and see everything so clearly. And then the pain is so intense, I don’t think I can stand it.
But with one convulsion - it was over. My cheeks are wet with tears. My heart pounds in my ears and my skin is flushed. My husband stirs beside me in the bed. He reaches for me, but I pull away. I am not ready for reality yet. As I lie there with the early morning sun making patterns on my skin, my heart sinks. Once again, I am left with the longing. A burning desire that cannot be snuffed. I hear the house begin to awaken. My children creep out of their beds. I know I must put on the daily facade; the guise of normalcy. I must lock away my secret obsession and give the key to my dreams.
Faux Punk
This is a song that Katie, Pat and I wrote together.
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
You think you're punk
If you dye your hair.
Punks not just a style.
It's not the clothes you wear.
It's an attitude.
It's a way of life.
If you can't get it right
We'll cut you with a knife!
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
Your sexin makes me sleepy
And its not because you're good.
I'm so bored I'm goin crazy.
I just wish you understood.
When I say to smack me
You think I'm sick and twisted.
But real punks would be thrilled
That I wanna be fisted.
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
The passion makes the punk
And thats somethin' that you're missin'.
We're gonna set you straight,
So you better just listen.
You know you're not authentic,
So we can't call you a poser.
Get your head outta your ass
You mother fuckin' brown noser!
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Bridge:
Smashing windows with bricks
Is how you get your kicks.
Its just misguided rage,
Like a dog in a cage.
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
You think you're punk
If you dye your hair.
Punks not just a style.
It's not the clothes you wear.
It's an attitude.
It's a way of life.
If you can't get it right
We'll cut you with a knife!
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
Your sexin makes me sleepy
And its not because you're good.
I'm so bored I'm goin crazy.
I just wish you understood.
When I say to smack me
You think I'm sick and twisted.
But real punks would be thrilled
That I wanna be fisted.
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Verse:
The passion makes the punk
And thats somethin' that you're missin'.
We're gonna set you straight,
So you better just listen.
You know you're not authentic,
So we can't call you a poser.
Get your head outta your ass
You mother fuckin' brown noser!
Chorus:
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
You hate people like that, too.
Faux Punk! Faux Punk!
But the ones you hate is YOU!
Bridge:
Smashing windows with bricks
Is how you get your kicks.
Its just misguided rage,
Like a dog in a cage.
Thoughts and Words
Writing has always been one of my many passions. I can't believe I have let so many years pass without expressing myself through written word. Whether spoken or written, words have the power to destroy, to build, to inspire or to assult.
To think, God gave me a gift so dynamic, and for years it has sat, idle. I am glad to say that now, finally, I will give my thoughts a voice. An escape from my scattered, disorganized mind, and onto paper in clear and elegant print. The release of this powerful force in a completed work, gives me a feeling of elation. My head is clear and I can think again. But the thoughts come again and I must find a paper and pen, before my mind becomes, once again, a jumbled prison of meaningless thoughts.
To think, God gave me a gift so dynamic, and for years it has sat, idle. I am glad to say that now, finally, I will give my thoughts a voice. An escape from my scattered, disorganized mind, and onto paper in clear and elegant print. The release of this powerful force in a completed work, gives me a feeling of elation. My head is clear and I can think again. But the thoughts come again and I must find a paper and pen, before my mind becomes, once again, a jumbled prison of meaningless thoughts.
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